Ain't it purdy?
Beula kept a naggin’ me ’bout puttin up some Christmas decorations, so I got reel creative and made this here Sandy Clause sleigh outa her car. I bet she don’t “bug” me no more! Git it? Bug? Boy I tell you what! I’m funnier that Cable Guy feller!
It really seemed like a good idee at the time…
I don’t know ifin I had the swine flu, er the bird flu, er the possum flu, er whut, but it shore made me sicker’n a cow eatin’ maypops!
I know ye ain’t suppost to make fun of the dead, but I don’t thank ole Jacko’s really takin’ a dirt nap anyway. I reckon he’s holed up with Elvis and D.B. Cooper somewhere. So I don’t mind lettin’ ya’ll hear one of my old Jacko calls.
My beautiful brown Bronco, 'cepting now it's blue
I jist got my Bronco painted, and this time I decided I wanted somthang besides brown. Don’t git me wrong, I love brown. Not too brown, the color of a coon dog’s eyes. But I decided I wanted a color that WOULD show dirt. After all, how will folks know if you been mud ridin’ if they can’t see the mud?
I know ya’ll been jonesin’ fer some of my classic calls, so here ye go. This outa hold ye till BJ gits another job.
J.R. showin' off his latest creation
Boy I tell you what! I been out a pocket fer a while, well, actually, I been in the hooscow. Me and this feller had a little disagree mint over jist how ugly he wuz, and, well, long story short, don’t never call a judge’s wife ugly. Even if she looks like that dog bounty hunter feller that catches them loosers what skipped bail. By the way, that dog feller really is ugly in person, and he don’t like to be told it neither.
Anywho, after I got out of the hospital and the penny ten jury, I had to lay low fer a while…bill collectors, bounty hunters, ex wives, and what not..so I ain’t been around fer a while. So first thang I do when I come out of the woods wuz git to a phone and call my old buddy BJ. Well sir, some little girl answered the phone and I said, “BJ?” and she said “who?” and I said, “BJ, you know that feller that’s been on the radio since Tickbucket wuz a puppy”. And she said, “Like, that guy has, like been gone for, like, for EV-ER!” Shoot! I got camo underwear older ‘n that young un!
So I ain’t seen hide ner hair of ole BJ in about 2 er 3 years. If any a ya’ll know where he is, let me know. Me and him got a lot of ketchin up to do.
